Diary

What do I Really Want?

What do I Really Want?

Today I started thinking about my desires - I realized that most of them come from the ego. My desire to be thinner or to have a solvent business comes more from a desire to receive  validation from other people.

Recently, just before going to bed, I read a phrase that shocked me. It said that, when you have a desire that stems from the ego, it is coming from worry and anguish. It forced me to review my desires and my goals and ask myself:

How could my goals come from such exhausting emotions?

I decided to do something about it.

I took some time to think about my desires. I want them to come from a part within me that genuinely seeks my wellbeing.

I want to make sure that the motivation for all my desires come from a space of internal curiosity, and not because I saw something on my Instagram newsfeed.

I realized that even small things that I do on a day to day basis were being influenced by information that I see on social networks. Every change or improvement that I wanted to make in my surroundings or my body stemmed from the idea of ​​being a version of all those photos that I constantly see. 

I know that some of the desires I feel come from my soul; I want to feel that delicious energy that I encounter every time I finish a workout, to find myself in beautiful spaces and surrounded by kind people. Lately, however, I was putting all my activities under a filter of comparison with others. 

I don’t know the answer yet as to why I do this, but what I can assure you is that consciousness and awareness is always the first step to manifest anything our soul wants.