Diary

Fall In Love With the Process

I've been feeling a bit off for a few months now...
There have been many changes in my personal and professional life.

However, it is not fair to label this moment that I am going through as something terrible because even if I do not feel yummy or comfortable, I know that it is not bad.

On the contrary, I feel that it is essential to get where I want to go.

With this said, this optimism is not the most regular in my day-to-day life.
Instead, the way I have been navigating most of my days is under the mantra "Fake it until you make it."

That mantra may have a negative connotation for some people, but it is an invitation to do the work as I see it.

For example, lately, I'm not in the mood to go to therapy, but I still decide to fake it and show up to do the work.

And sometimes it is not fun at all. Sometimes show up means going to therapy and crying for days because you tap into something significant.

Sometimes I feel that I took some steps back in my progress - but after a few days, I realize that it is not a step backward but a great act of self-love.

Every time we decide to take the path that takes us out of autopilot living, even if it is a "fake" step, we are choosing to love ourselves because although there is the possibility of making mistakes, we move from a space that is not working anymore.

If we start to see our processes from this space, it becomes easier for us to be present and enjoy the journey.

So I invite you to try it. I invite you to fake it until you become and embody your goals and dreams.

Just Be

Stop being who you think you are and just be.

That was the lesson I learned from meeting an extraordinary person a few months ago.

Like most women swept up in the world of romantic comedies and meet-cutes, I was instantly enchanted. It didn’t take long for my head to fill with expectations and plans for just how this new relationship would pan out.

As you can imagine, none of what I thought would happen was, in fact, happening. My magical encounters were leaving me frustrated because none of my expectations were being met.

He was only looking for fleeting moments with me while I wanted all of his time.

After some thought, I decided to claim my space and leave myself open for someone who wanted me as much as I wanted them. Wasn’t I in control?

It took me a few days to realize I didn’t want to be in control.

I was annoyed with myself for even thinking about it. Why do I always do this, interrupt the flow of things and try to control the outcome? Why can’t I let go and just let things happen, let love happen and love myself?

The thing is, I do this not only in relationships but in so many aspects of my life in general. When the story isn’t happening as I’d imagined it, I interrupt it. The worst part is that I could be enjoying myself but still feel the need to exit because it’s not what I had in mind.

But I had my moment of recognition. I, like so many other people, struggle to be present and value what’s right in front me. We overlook that incredible experience or joyous occasion because it doesn’t arrive in the way we anticipated or in the box we envisioned.

To that I say, treasure it all!

Let’s all stop being who we think we are just start being. 

Your Life Doesn't Have to be Content

This message is for all of you who are not bloggers and don’t feel the need to pretend.

Perception is so important these days. The things you post and what you say are supposed to fill some purpose, but I’m here to tell you it doesn’t.

For example, I had a conversation with myself the other day about something I saw while scrolling Instagram.

Blogger: "Your face cream will work better if you apply it from left to right."

Me: “Oh, I bet that's why my face cream doesn't moisturize my skin well... of course that’s it.”

 The nuance of that—how the implication of a stranger’s post made me question my own beauty routine—got me thinking about my own social media presence. For a long time, I thought what I shared on Instagram needed to be successful; it needed likes. This was until I caught myself reverse engineering my IG success by trying to live my life in a way that was good for content. I wanted to do what I thought everyone else was doing.

I encourage us all, me included, to be more authentic. I don’t mean we shouldn’t share the things that make us happy or life hacks that have worked for us in the past. I suggest that, before we post anything, we ask ourselves why we’re sharing. What’s your intention? Are you trying to prove something? Are you posting for yourself?

In asking myself these questions, I’ve been able to stay present and have kept from falling into the social media ego trap.

I don’t know all of the answers and that’s ok. I don’t have to pretend on Instagram and, hopefully, never will again.